Bob Log III: Official Web Site

Press: Bizarre Article

Log Jam

Songs of filth and vomiting on chicks. Now that's entertainment…

Words: Andy Capper

Bob Log III is to the blues what cannibal Issei Sagawa is to cookery. A 32 year-old Arizonan one-man-band who invented the art of tit clapping (more about that later), Bob sings his songs through a telephone receiver glued inside a motorcycle helmet. With X-rated cities like "Big Ass Hard On" and "Wag Your Tail Like A Dog In The Back Of A Truck: his records are being rung by aheavy breathing pervert in the middle of the night andphone-raped by the blues. Recently, he toured the UK with Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and got to meet a lot of girls by asking them to sit on his knee while he played his hit "I Want Your Shit On My Leg".

How did you develop your unique aesthetic?

I was in a band called Doo-Rag when I lost my drummer and had about eight hours to figure out what to do, so I decided to play drums with my feet. My legs are huge now. Sometimes I can get a girl on each knee and bounce 'em along. I didn't get too many girls to sit on me in England but I'd like to remedy that situation when I come back.

Maybe they were scared of your helmet…

There ain't nothin' really scary. I can't really touch you or anything, my hands are full of guitars. The song's only two minutes long. I'll give you back.

When did you decide to wear the helmet?

It was in the car on the way to a show, the first time I was playing by myself. It seemed to work out all right. It must get quite hot and sweaty in there… It does but I'm from Arizona so by the time I've reached song three I feel like I'm home.

Do you ever take it off on stage?

No, I can lift it up a bit if I throw up or something.

Have you ever thrown up inside the helmet?

Not so that it landed in the helmet. I've got a hole for it to come out of. It doesn't happen that often. It only happens when I get a really fat girl on my knee and I try to play that song twice as fast as I normally do. It's like running with a backpack full of rocks.

Do you get more fat or thin girls?

It's about half and half. But when you've done it for a week in a row… If it's the first night of the tour and it's a fat girl I might be in trouble. That's when the bad things happen.

Are you really ugly?

I've never been told that. My face has nothing to do with the music, I'd much rather people pay attention to my guitar playing.

I've got a press release that says you lost your left hand in a boating incident and that you had it replaced with a monkey's paw. Is that true?

No, I've got all my limbs. It's just that when I'm playing my guitar my hand moves so fast it looks like a monkey paw, a hairy paw. My hand moves really fast. Faster than a normal human hand.

How would you describe your music?

I guess you could call it "Poo-party, tit-clapping, techno blues' but you could put it however you want really.

Kids in the UK are into rock'n'roll and the girls dress like The Strokes. Do you like that look?

Yeah, that's alright. I like tube tops on thong girls. Butt thongs, I'm into tube tops pretty much right now. That's how you get me to turn around.

Are you going to remain solo forever?

Well, once I hired two girls to clap their tits along with me. You know that song "Clap Your Tits"?

I've not heard that one yet…

I paid two girls $50 each. They were girls you had to pay to come over. We call them hookers over here. They came to the studio and clapped their tits together. I just wanted handclaps, but I wanted to take it tot the next level. Nobody else has done it, so this is MINE.

Bob Log III's new album Slide Guitar Ride is out soon on Fat Possum